Go past the $9.99 binoculars, the $2.99 personal fans and the $3.49 pleather old man’s crossover sandals. Past the cosmetics and perfume cash register island… go on now. Stop. You made it. It’s the “Kitchen” aisle. Here’s where it gets tricky: Look UP.

Oh. My. Made in Chinas.

Walgreens: Would you say that I have a plethora of appliances?

You: Oh yes, you have a plethora.

Walgreen’s: What is a plethora?

You: Why, Walgreen’s?

Walgreen’s: Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.

You: Forgive me, Walgreen’s. I know that I, (insert name here), do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?

(Thank you, Three Amigos)

Here’s the deal–They’re $9.99 or less:

They’ve got yer Deep Fryer, yer Toaster Oven, la Rice Cooker, le Toaster, yer Slow Cooker, der Food Processor, la Coffee Maker, Blenders, Electric Kettles and like 10 more I can’t remember. Now, go out and buy yourself a hand mixer so you don’t succumb to death by wrist cramps after trying to hand-whip a pint of heavy cream. I personally own the rice cooker, blender and fry daddy.